Types of Harm
What is Harm?
Society only holds people accountable for physical, financial, and property harm. However, we acknowledge there are many more types, and we value addressing all harm.
Here is what we believe is a more complete list of the types of harm that can be caused.
Physical
Financial
Property
Emotional
Verbal
Sexual
Neglect
Threats
Coercion
Public humiliation
Dehumanization
Controlling others
Not respecting one’s boundaries
Lying (See the different types)
Using laws or systems to uphold oppression
Infringing on rights of others
Attacking someone’s reputation
Purposely excluding others or making them feel othered
Using or promoting harmful rhetoric (intentional or not)
Indoctrination
Restricting someone’s resources or access to necessary information
Hoarding someone’s resources or withholding access to necessary resources
Bullying
Restricting freedom of movement
Shaming others for characteristics out of their control
Lateral violence / taking struggles out on others
Denial of someone’s identity
Victim blaming
Bigotry
Promoting, financing, making space for, or not condemning harmful people
Not taking accountability
Not making things right when we cause harm
Upholding systems of oppression
Accepting beliefs without evidence, especially those that harm others
Fallacious reasoning, both using and accepting them in debate
Being silent when someone harms another person
Keeping the peace at the expense of doing the right thing
Manipulation (See the different types)
Promoting a toxic culture
Siding or being complicit with friends and family who cause harm
Not speaking up because it does not affect you, personally
Tone policing (Focusing on how someone addresses real harm instead of or in the same breath as the actual harm that was caused)
False equivalences (Both sides are bad, instead of taking a stand)
Intellectual dishonesty / “playing devil’s advocate” / “just asking questions”
Willful ignorance
Forcing compliance, group think, and punishing people for being “different”
Toxic masculinity
Colonialism / imperialism and defending, upholding, or diminishing the impacts they still have to this day
Focus on intent over impact
Committing to personal or organizational stagnation and lack of accountability for healing and doing better
Not acknowledging one’s privilege
Opportunity cost (focusing on what we want to do at the expense of society or people being harmed)
Not holding people and systems to account for their actions
Using circumstances as an excuse to not change, grow, or learn
Toxic individualism
Not conceding when we are wrong
Spreading misinformation and disinformation
“Following orders” / Upholding a decision just because it came from someone in charge
Non-Harmful Behaviors
There are also misconceptions about situations and behaviors that are NOT harm.
Here is a list of non-harmful behaviors:
Disagreeing with someone
Starting a conflict
Going against the group
Calling out and addressing harm
Making people who are causing harm and those supporting them uncomfortable
Asking for boundaries to be respected
Asking for what you need
Demanding enough resources to survive comfortably
Questioning authority (everyone should be held to the same standards for ethics and evidence)
Living your values even if no one around you understands
Going against societal values and beliefs if they do not work for you, and especially if they are not logical or based in evidence
Standing up for your beliefs, even if they are inconvenient for others
Asking for accountability
Not forgiving someone for causing you harm, or having resentments because it was never resolved
Reacting to harm, and escalating your reaction to the point that the transgression stops and you are safe
Asking for equitable treatment in a conflict
Being “weird”
Asking for an unbiased mediator or going above someone’s head if they are unable to handle a situation fairly
Standing up for justice
Asking for reform if an organization or society is being inequitable
Excluding hateful and harmful people from spaces to protect people
Matching energy
Asking good faith questions to understand a decision or policy
Using evidence and reasoning to critique a belief or practice
Asking others for evidence or reasoning for a belief or practice, especially if you are forced to engage in it against your will
Types of Lies
Error (telling a lie without realizing it is not true)
Omission (partial truth)
Denial (not admitting they know the truth)
Falsification (spreading false rumors or to gain sympathy)
Misinterpretation (does not have all the facts)
Bold-faced lie (everyone knows this is not true, a child’s lie)
White lie (lying to protect someone’s feelings)
Exaggeration
Pathological lying (lying for no apparent reason)
Minimization (playing down a statement or its effects)
Types of Manipulations
Gaslighting
Passive aggression
Lying
Isolation
Denial
Blame
Projection
Triangulation
Control
Rationalization or justification
Name-calling
Using persistent fallacious reasoning to win arguments
Withholding resources or affection to get what they want
Changing the subject
Playing on insecurities
Being dismissive
Treating you like a child
Blaming the victim
Being a different person in public versus in private to gain allies
Using therapy or other healing language as a weapon